Charlie Croker – Tõlkes kaduma läinud (2009)

Kõiksugu inglise keele apsakaid laiast turismimaailmast.

Zürich, Šveits:

We have nice bath and are very good in bed. (lk 12)

Berliini hotelli riietusruumis:

Please hang yourself here. (lk 14)

Tokyo:

Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed. (lk 17)

Taipei, Taiwan:

If there is anything we can do to assist and help you, please do not contact us. (lk 17)

Jaapan:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. (lk 24)

Firenze, Itaalia:

Fire! It is what we can be doing, we hope. No fear. Not ourselves. Say quickly to all people coming up down, everywhere, a prayer is a clerk. He is assured of safety by expert men who are in the bar for telephone for the fighters of the fire come out. (lk 26)

Jaapani taksos:

Safety first.

Please put on your seatbelt.

Prepare for accident. (lk 33)

Taiwani šampoonipudelil:

Use repeatedly for severe damage. (lk 39)

Hiina:

Mr Zheng and his fellow workers like to meet you and entertain you hostility and unique cooking technique. (lk 47)

Hiina, kirjeldatakse pannkoogirooga:

Waiter will roll in front of you. (lk 48)

Pildiallkiri Nõukogude Liidus tantsupeo pildi all:

Young men's balls in full swing. (lk 55)

Indoneesia reisibrošüür:

If we are lucky we will see duck boys home, men massaging their cocks on the road, cow boys taking grass. Yes it is a wonderful experience. (lk 63)

Iisraeli lihapoes:

I slaughter myself twice daily. (lk 71)

Poesilt Lovina rannal Balil, Indoneesias:

Feel like shopping?

We have no good things to sell. (lk 71)

Pesumaja Roomas:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. (lk 72)

Jaapani poeaken:

We wish you are Merry Christmas. (lk 74)

Jaapani kokakoola purgil:

I feel Coke & sound special. (lk 79)

Jaapani toidupakend:

This cute mild curry uses 100% Japanese apple and cheerful hamster. (lk 79)

Templis Bangkokis, Tais:

It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man. (lk 84)

Sõnum Interneti tutvumisportaalis tai naiselt potentsiaalsele partnerile:

I started go aerobic dance, because I am fat. I think, when you come Thailand, you want to see me on slim body! (lk 91)

Venelanna tutvumiskuulutus:

I am looking for an realy educated man who can be joke to himself. (lk 91)